Broken_Promises_17's Xanga

Monday, November 22, 2004

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 18:13:30 GMT

Just wanted to post to say that i don't use this addy anymore..it's all sorts of messed up or something..it freaked out on me! (argh) Anywho..my new site is: billabong_0181 take a look at it sometime!! love you all!! ~bye~

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Thu, 11 Nov 2004 23:04:30 GMT

wow..haven't posted on this site in a long time! Anyway..things have been going pretty good, been busy with work and school lately..so that's always fun!? (lol) Got to talk to Eric lastnight, so that was a big plus!! Haven't talked to Andrew in almost 3 weeks..oh well, doesn't really bug me much! (haha) Well, i mailed some applications in yesterday..One to CSC and WNCC, i was going to send one to CSU but the addmissions fee was $50 and i don't have that on me right now..so yeah..and plus, my mom won't let me go there, because of the high "out of state" tuitions..so yeah..*CRIES* Well i think that i am going to go for now..More next time!

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Sat, 23 Oct 2004 16:45:40 GMT

Lastnight was the big Scottsbluff vs. Gering game. Finaly met Andrew!! It was a good night, we ended up leaving at 3rd quarter because it was raining and we were all cold and soaked. After that we took a few laps and then I met up with him at Alco in Gering and we went out to Lisco to pick up one of his friends 4wheelers. It was a good little trip, talked about everything on the way down there and back, so i'd have to say it was good! Got back into town around 11:40 pm, went to alco so i could get my car and then i dropped sam off at home. I'm supposed to call him sometime today, before i go to work. *yay* But in all it was a good night, i'd have to say! Other than that, school has been alright and work is well...work! So, can't really complain there because i'm getting paid. But anyway...i better get going. Post more whenever I'm on here again.

Time:x[11:57 am]x
Mood:x[happy and tired]x
Quote:x[..would you forget everything and everyone and start over with me..]x-matchbook romance
Insight:x[lastnight was the greatest! haha]x

Friday, October 15, 2004

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 21:46:30 GMT

Well, it's been a few days since my last post. Been busy with work and school, not a whole lot of "free time" lately. Oh well, it's fine, not big deal! Well, we have a football game tonight against Alliance, don't really want to go, but i have to. (oh well!) After the game I think that me and talya are meeting up with Kyle and a few other friends and just hanging out. Not awhole lot going on just shit with people, like always!! (oh well) Well, i found out that one of my ex-friends, boyfriends has cancer, i feel bad for her & him because she really cares for him and he also cares for her a great deal. And i just don't want to see her hurting or anything like that, even if we are having our huge ass "differences", I want her to know that I am here if she ever wants or needs to talk about anything, because i know what she is going through, i've been through it. But anyway..i haven't talked to josh in forever, i miss him!!! Same with robby!! *cries* Well, i think i am going to go, more later!

Time:x[4:45 pm]x
Mood:x[confused,tired,bored]x
Quote:x[..The Angels Sang A Whiskey Lullaby..]x

Monday, October 11, 2004

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 00:28:54 GMT

hey everyone..been awhile since i've been online..someone hacked into my computer and everything. I had to make a new email, so i won't be using any of mine anymore, except my new addy. If you want the new email, just let me know (if you don't have it already). Won't be online much untill computer is fixed. Gotta go though! love you all!!!

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Wed, 29 Sep 2004 03:08:41 GMT

It happend again lastnight,
you promised you would never do it again,
I could tell that tonight was going to be another long night of screaming matches,
when you walked through the door,
the smell of whiskey on your breath.
I ask you how your day went and that's when it all falls apart,
the screaming starts,
you throw your gin bottle across the room.
I flinch as it hits the wall and shatters,
you come over to me and put your hands around my neck and pull me from the chair.
You have me against the wall now,
can bairly breath,
You throw me to the floor,
all i feel next is a sharp blow to the side of my head.
I wake up,
not a sound,
are you gone or just passed out.
I slowly get up,
my head throbbing from the blow.
I walk over to the mirror,
see a cut above my eye and cheeck,
blood flowing down my face.
Hear a door open,
turn around,
nothing there.
Look back towards the mirror,
feel a cold steel blade against my neck,
then in a flash i see your face.
Try to scream,
but it's too late..

~September 28, 2004~
+Casey Brening+

Yeah, i wrote that today..don't know what was all going through my head, it all just came to me..wow!? Anyways..talked to Andrew lastnight, we are going to the big Scottsbluff/Gering game together on the 22nd of October..can't wait! Hung out with Josh and Robbie lastnight, i think i may have pissed robbie off though, because i was sitting on Josh's lap because it was cold outside and it was nice a warm in robbies truck, it's only a 2 seater and 2 ppl were already in it so i just sat on josh, he didn't mind..lol..but yeah i think i pissed robbie off though..oops, sorry bud.. Anyway..other than that things have been okay, my grades in 3 classes are crappy, well only 2 actually, i told my band director i wouldn't be here on Saturday for our performance because i am going to be out of town and i can't miss it, (some family thing) and he said that he is still failing me..so yeah..i'm all sorts of pissed on that, and i'm failing Chem. don't know how, have gotten all my work in on time and done and everything..+screams+ i hate my classes this year, they all blow!! (*grr*) Oh well, i guess it works..sure why not!? Things with friends are going alright...me and ann are talking again, so i'm happy about that, here to help her through everything that has been going on..Might be moving up to Chadron at the end of the year to go to College up there, CSC yeah baby!! Or i might stay here and go up to WNCC, move into an apartment here instead..i don't know yet though, still trying to decide where i want to go..I got an application to Northwestern College the other day in the mail. It's down in Maryville, Missouri, HUGE campus..wow..I would actually be able to afford it too, so i'm happy about that, but i don't know quite yet! Anyway..other than that, nothing else has really happend..Well, i think i am going go..more next time, whenever that may be..~+goodnight+~

Time:x[10:05 pm]x
Mood:x[confused,tired,worried]x
Quote:x[..i never, ever meant to hurt you, i just did what i had to do..counting stars again..]x
Insight:x[i want it to be December already..happy 18th b-day to me! (woohoo)]x

Friday, September 24, 2004

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 01:26:34 GMT

It's been a couple days since my last post, nothing new has really happend. Me and Matt broke up last tuesday, at the time there was a ton of crap running through my mind that i didn't know how to deal with so i told him i needed a break, to try and get everything figured out. I still haven't got all of it totaly sorted out, but i'm slowly getting there, and if i don't get everything cleared out, oh well..it's fine i guess..I'm meeting Andrew in a few days i guess, not totaly sure on the exact day, but yeah, i'm all sorts of excited..(hahaha sure!?) Anyway..school is going alright, i think i'm only somewhat failing one class right now and that is American Gov. (oops) I totaly bombed our first test and had to take a quiz that i didn't know we had, because i missed a day and didn't get any time to study for..so yeah..so not fair, i'm sueing!! (lol)

One of my friends found out that there is a good possiblity that she could be pregnant. I told her that if we both end up going to Chadron for college that she could live with me and everything! So, i don't know what is all going on there, i just hope that she knows that i'm here for her if she needs anything and that i love her like a sis still!! I also haven't talked to Alicia in FOREVER!! I miss that gurl! *cries* YOU NEED TO CALL ME SOMETIME SO WE CAN HANG OUT!! (hehe) Well, i'm going to go..more later!!

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 17:22:02 GMT

Well i found out some interesting stuff lastnight..i guess one of my moms work friends and her are trying to "set up" me and her son Andrew. He's a freshman up at WNCC, graduated from Kimball last year or something like that..so yeah, this should be interesting! ((lol)) I haven't met him yet, but i guess they are going to introduce us sometime..(woo-hoo!?) But yeah, other than that not a whole lot has been going on really. Talked to Sy a few nights ago, talya ended up going to Scottsbluff homecoming lastnight with Mason. I ended up not getting out of work lastnight untill alittle after 9, everyone decided they wanted to take their time getting their stuff..*grr* Was at ICU for almost half an hour waiting for one person who ended up not wanting anything..(why do they do that!?) But anyway, this weekend has been okay, didn't really do a whole lot. I have to work next weekend (yet again) and then the weekend of the 4th i have off because i have to go down to Kearney for some family thing. Oh well, at least i get out of this town for a few days!? Haven't been down to Kearney forever, can't even remember the last time we were down there..

I got my senior pics ordered a few weeks ago, she said they would be here in 5 weeks or so. I can't wait to get them back! I told Sean that he would be the first one that i send some too! (he's such a crackhead..but i love him anyways!!) I'm not totaly sure what i'm going to write on the back of his yet, but i'll figure that all out when i get them back. Talked to shannon a while back, he's doing pretty good, been busy with football and school. He told me that i need to come back for one of their games sometime..I wish i could, might have to be for another sport other than football though..Might go down for a basketball game or somethin' like that!? (big maybe though) Also talked to Stu the other night, he's still in boot camp, can't think of the name of the camp though..(oops) Well, that's pretty much all that has been going on. Busy with school and work and getting graduation parties figured out and what-not..I guess that me and my cousin Ryan are going to have ours together (yippie, soo excited about that one). As long as i don't have to see him or be around any of his friends...I'll be good! Well i better go, got to head over to Terry Town! ~+bye+~

Time:x[12:20 pm]x
Mood:x[happy & bored]x
Quote:x[..what would you do if you found out you wouldn't see tomorrow..]x
Insight:x[umm..can graduation be here already?!]x

Friday, September 17, 2004

Fri, 17 Sep 2004 02:53:21 GMT

WELL..my day just keeps getting better!!!!!! (sure..why not!?) Me and cindy are fighting or something..she's pissed at me..sounds like some people in this town..what is with people and drama!? I give up!!!! I'm staying neutral (i think i spelled that right..oh well if i didn't i don't care!) I was planning on going back over my spring break, but i don't see that happening now..doesn't really seem like anyone wants me back except very few people..oh well yet again..Only a few more months and then i may be out of this town..MAYBE..it all depends..I think i may have scared sean alittle tonight, i wasn't talking to him as much as i normally do..sorry bud! humm.....what else to say..nothing really has happend lately..busy with work and school that about it..Nothin' else to say really, so i'm gonna go..~goodnight~

Time:x[9:49 pm]x
Mood:x[..angry, creeped out, bored..]x
Quote:x[..My hands are at your throat and i think i hate you..]x
Insight:x[..can the weekend be here already so i don't have to deal with peoples crap and all the drama of high school!?..+bleh+]x

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 02:57:58 GMT

why do most things have to be so complicated? I mean, some things come to people really easily and the rest just hits you like a freight train, right in the heart..

In my last entry i just kind of rambled..might happen again in this one..maybe..not totaly sure though..i don't really have a whole lot to say tonight..Hollie called me around 4:00 today and told me some bad news, i felt so sad for her and i was also angry at her parents for what they did. After that i went and picked her up and we went over to mikes to talk, then me and her just drove around Bluffs talking about everything that has been going on and trying to figure some things out and all..

I feel as though my step-father thinks that i am never going to amount to anything..like i'm never going to get into college or make something of my life. I'm afraid that i'm never going to get out of this town and if i do, it's not going to be anything all that great..but what can you expect, our economy seems to be going to hell (or so some say)!? Me and my friend Sean had a long talk about life and mainly just everything a few nights ago..it helped alittle, I'm planning on taking a trip down there to visit him and everyone in the upcoming months..hopefully it will all work out. Talked to cindy the other night, she's getting married to adam after they get the race car done..(yippie..i bet you can imagine how that made me feel.) Oh well, it's alright, as long as she is finally happy. Haven't been able to talk to Tiff or Ashley in forever, should probably write them sometime soon..

Think that i am hanging out with Sam this weekend and possibly Hollie if her parents will let her out of the house for a night. That's about all that has been going on so far..not a whole lot..

Time:x[10:08 pm]x
Mood:x[..confused, scared, upset, in pain]x
Quote:x[..i'm broken when i'm open and i don't feel like i'm strong enough, i want to hold you high, and steal your pain away..]x
Insight:x[..i'm so lost..]x